To Celebrate or Not to Celebrate?

The plan is set. The family has met. The guest list has been drawn out. The to-do list is made and every member in the family from the youngest to the oldest is given responsibilities to orchestrate the perfect Christmas party. As we send out the invites, shop for gifts, pack our bags and get ready to go to our home in Pune there is a lot of anticipation and excitement in the air.

The maid has instructions to wash the faux grass and cane furniture on the terrace till it’s clean and bright. The fairy lights are hung up. The red and white candles and centre pieces on the tables, flower arrangements and wreaths on the door are in place. The men are busy with all the arrangements of setting up the space and stocking the bar. The Christmas tree is all decked up with the baubles and the gifts arranged below. Not to miss the Nativity scene and the Szopka (Polish crib) that I was inspired to create, being set up by the kids. In the meantime, I was busy supervising the carefully picked menu (with a favourite dish of each member of the family) being prepared to perfection. Our home was filled with the aroma of plum cake, marzipan and biryani all at once. Different marinades for a delectable barbeque and a rather elaborate spread of salads is underway.

As the sun sets, the candles are lit, Christmas carols by Jim Reeves are playing in the background. We are all dressed and ready. (My daughter, particularly, is excited because today is the special day when she is allowed to use lip gloss and wear “grown up shoes” …read shoes with heels) Very soon, one by one our friends start dropping in. There is so much hugging, laughter, joy and heart-warming conversation in the air!

This elaborate celebration, soon becomes a memory. One that we cherish. It gives us strength to bounce back to the daily rigmarole of life and tackle its challenges with renewed hope. We look forward to next year’s celebration.

And as I think of the essence of celebration … I realise that we look forward to the feeling of togetherness, feeling loved, nurtured and pampered. Above all, being able to give ourselves the permission to just relax, enjoy the company of our loved ones, chill and to let your hair down. Though celebrations are only a few times in a year and not often; they do cater to a very basic need of connecting to others and feeling good about life.

It’s that time of the year again. Yet, there is a paradigm shift in the way we celebrate. There is caution in the air and the focus is on safety. Everything that we thought was a norm, is now being questioned and thought through again.

Thanks to the pandemic, instead of hugging and kissing, we would rather wear masks and social distance. Our guest lists for every occasion are hugely limited.

Yet, we have found ways to commemorate our need to celebrate, by adapting to birthday / wedding car parades, virtual celebrations and ceremonies or even scheduling regular meetings on Zoom to hang out with our loved ones.

The hospitality industry has gone to the length of home delivering meals for conferences so that all the delegates can have their meals together. Apps like Spotify and Netflix are pitching in by allowing us to share playlists or watch movies together virtually. All of the above tap into our intrinsic need for sharing and interacting with others to feel good.

This year, for the first time ever, we experienced life coming to a complete standstill. Fear and panic was in the air, compounded by uncertainty. After a few months, the understanding that we have to learn to live with the virus sunk in. Attempts to return to normal started once again.

I remember the joy and mood of celebration in the air when Zomato started their delivery services again and when we could go for a drive in our own car. All the ordinary things we earlier took for granted have become reasons to celebrate. Today, we revel in the fact that we and our loved ones (especially the senior citizens) are alive, have good health and are safe.

One of the biggest lessons of the pandemic, is that life is uncertain and unpredictable. And maybe, it is time for us to consider that we shouldn’t have to wait for the festive season to celebrate. Every single day can indeed be a celebration of gratitude for all the things we have.

Maybe we could celebrate the more extraordinary, but “invisible to the eye” happenings in our lives. An interesting conversation with a close friend recently, threw light on a few possibilities in this area.

What if we could celebrate when:

A loved one is being vulnerable and speaking about the very things that really matter to them.
Someone holds non-judgemental space for us as we vent our frustrations.
A loved one summons the courage to speak up.
A fearful person overcomes their fear and shows up for themselves.
One had the ability to listen to their body and instead of pushing themselves, could choose to rest when needed.
A busy mother decides to take the afternoon off to relax without feeling guilty.
A friend is able to take a bold decision which is out of their comfort zone but will create a big shift in their life.
A child is able to share their fears and apprehensions with a parent.
A depressed loved one decides to seek help and take steps towards their own well-being.