A lot has been said on this subject by many over these last few months. The words “New Normal” have been bandied about by every other person you meet or engage with. Oh, I forgot, meeting is not really the norm anymore. It is only video chats and phone calls. So, it is engage not meet.
It is most definitely Time for Change. But what does this change mean for each of us. Between desperate loneliness and the desperate desire to create some meaning for our existence, we seem to vacillate.
The seniors have pretty much been caged up and are dealing with the effects of desperate loneliness. Many even clearly losing the desire to even live at all. The intention is good, but the effects can be catastrophic. Very recently a dear friend lost his ailing mother and his major comment was that isolating her had led to her earlier than necessary demise. Then again, the fatalist could argue that based on destiny death shall only arrive when it is meant to.
The question that constantly comes to my mind is – Has the human race learnt anything at all from this pandemic? Are we even willing to change? Everyone that I speak to just wants to go back to the way life was. They want to feel normal again. What really is normal? I thought it was all about the New Normal.
At a recent evening that was hosted at an open-air bar, the main comment from the twenty or so attendees was that it was so nice to be able to meet friends again physically and experience a sense of normalcy. Something that they had all been craving for. There is this awkward and strange push and pull between wanting to go back and at the same time navigate the way forward. The hardest one for many to cope with is the wearing or not wearing the mask. Many, like me, struggle to breathe whilst keeping the mask on. At most times and with most masks I feel this desperate urge to take it off and throw it away. But the caution alarm rings in my head and I have to find the best way to keep it on when the situation demands it.
I for one most definitely want to change the way I live. There are decisions I want to execute that will alter the course of my life drastically. Move away from mainstream business activity. Hang up my boots. Put my feet up a bit. Focus only on things that truly make a difference. Easier said than done I realise every day, as the possibilities are not exactly finite. Then we have to decide that do we really want to execute at all. Some are tempting and some are best left in our thoughts. Once you are my age, time is not really on your side, and that whittles down many of the myriad options. More to the point some I have managed to execute.
During these lockdown days I had felt a severe lack of fruits and vegetables. That made me realise that I wanted to have control over what reached our families’ dining table. As fate would have it, we were connected with a very enterprising young farmer and we have ended up renting some land from him to grow our own produce. Now realistically this change was only possible as he is stationed at the farm. So not only is he our landlord but he has also taken charge of managing the day to day needs of the farm. Of course, it will take some years for the farm to mature as we are working on the idea of creating a food forest. No mono-cropping for us. But eventually we shall be getting all the fruits and vegetables that we need from this farm, not just for us but for our near and dear ones too.
The other one I was able to execute was to put together this magazine. Honestly, I don’t really know where I am headed with this. I just wanted a space to be able to drive the idea of intentional & better living and I went ahead and did it. It is somewhere between a well-presented blog and a true e-magazine. All I know is that I am enjoying working on it. I have a clear weekly deadline to work with and that itself is enough to keep me focused. More importantly it keeps me from getting despondent about the state of the world and all its ills. I do try to not worry about the fact that hardly anyone reads what I put out. And I also wonder what do the people who do reach us and read what we put out, think about us. Whatever it may be, something keeps driving me to leave my footprint on this ginormous internet. And we keep sharing our thoughts and ideas every week. Baby Steps. Baby Steps for us.
Well, these were the easy ones to execute. What is really hard is the ability to complete my current obligations and get out of the quagmire I am stuck in. Try as I might, it is very hard. We make little if no progress every day in meeting these obligations. So, getting off the current treadmill is really really hard. That is why I had earlier mentioned that even if one wants to make a change, is it really possible to make it happen easily and in some cases happen at all. Will some of these obligations accompany me to my grave. Or to my cremation as is the case for Hindus.
I often wonder if I shall be able to complete my obligations before judgement day just pops up for me. Or creeps up on me as the case may be.
The biggest thought that dawned upon me was that I am still actually waiting to start my life. And after this period, I am desperate to start the life that I really want. Not the one I have ended up living due to circumstances. I so desperately want to and need to change orbits. But the thrusters needed just don’t seem to be fully in my control. I am all over the place trying to work out the way forward and keeping my fingers crossed that the path I want shall present itself very very soon.
We all know that change is the only constant, yet many of us are creatures of habit. And want life to be routine and predictable. But life has a way of surprising us, doesn’t it?
Written By Mohit Gupta
Week 47, November 20
