When problems come in, love goes out the window. This is usually how the saying goes, and Joel & Keenan were smack dab in the middle of the typhoon, also commonly known as commitment.
Life has been a whirlwind for Joel since his teenage years. First, to bear the burden of being the probable heir to his family’s empire. Then, to discover being gay, and loving it; for which, he faced torture of its own kind. After a long hiatus, finding freedom in London, with the one true love of his life.
It was evident. The hard-work was not complete. It was time to take their relationship to the next level. A marriage of sorts, a commitment: verbal, emotional and spiritual, of two souls, bound together by love for each other. So comes the house, the jobs, the decisions, on the table. Keenan was well-settled in his bank job, and Joel was just beginning his stint with opening a bar of his own – just across the station, for eagerly thirsty crowds.
They decided to rent a small studio just outside Oxford – a dusty old place, but they were determined to make it their home. Cleaning came first, furniture came second, peace of mind came as a final. They were finally together, no boundaries, no conditions, no judgements; all love.
Months passed by, and Joel did not hear from his parents. 32 years old, and still judged by his parents. Disowned, as good as. This began to pinch, when life got tough. Because, at the end of the day, love is not enough to keep two people together. Respect, understanding, considerations, and compromises are what truly build a relationship; when equal portions of each come together. Keenan lost his job because of a large merger between banks, and Joel’s little tavern was all that was keeping them afloat.
Frustration takes a toll on us all, and the frustration that arises out of unemployment is a special blend of irritant. Keenan was not strong enough to deal with this frustration, alongside being a wonderful partner to Joel. Fights began, threats to leave began, judgements and finger-pointing was the entrée every evening. This boiled up to the point where Joel began sleeping at the tavern every night, and returning in the morning just to shower and lay out breakfast; leaving for the bar just in time when Keenan would awake.
When loneliness creeps in, we tend to look elsewhere to fill the void. And poor Keenan began seeing a fellow disgruntled employee from his previous workplace. Seth was a well-built, muscular gentleman, with a heart of gold. But even those with a heart of gold, end up having very less to give out, once everything is taken away from them. A few drinks each evening at a nearby bar, and nights spent working each other’s bodies and souls, to remove their pent-up frustration. One morning, Joel returned for his routine shower, and found Seth sneaking out. Calm as he always is, he decided not to embarrass Seth, and instead let the conversation flow between the two that exchanged promises – him and his better half (or at this point, just a half).
A day full of tears, shouting, begging and apologising later, Joel decided he needed some space. He packed his bags and moved into his tavern entirely. Contrary to popular belief, this gave Keenan not a broken heart, but a mind that was determined to have his better half back with him.
He cleaned up his act, began looking for work, kept the house spotless, learned how to cook meals and got home a little beagle. He decided to add another milestone to the list of changes he was making. He took a little trip down to Bristol to meet the Fellings. “To convince them to accept his choices would be the ultimate apology”, he thought, and so he was on his way to redemption!
The first couple of days were tough, because the gates wouldn’t even open for him. For, through the pipeline, they had heard of him. “He has taken our boy away”, they would think. It would take a grand gesture, that was for sure. So, Keenan stood outside the gate for hours and hours. Passers by began to take note. Questions were asked, rumours were slowly spreading. The Fellings were in the spotlight within two days’ time. They had to let him in now, and deal with the consequences!
The gates creaked open, a tiny butler walking his way. “Welcome to the Felling home. Please follow me.”. Keenan had forgotten how eerie this home felt. It had been so many, many years. He was led to the library directly, where Mother & Father Felling had their evening tea.
As angry as they were, they were just that much hospitable to everyone that entered their home. Hence, the spread of teas, cookies & cakes. Keenan sat with a small cup of black tea, no food. He was here to just apologise, not to steal, not to trick or blame. So began his little update on how Joel was doing, and the happenstance of trouble in their lives. Father was poker-faced throughout the conversation, but Mother, oh Mother, as soft as she was, sniffled away at moments where she heard of Joel’s troubles; smiles when she heard how he overcame them.
It was not until the part where Joel was living in his bar, but not running back to Bristol at the sign of trouble & fighting, which made Father Felling shift. His little boy has grown. So much. With responsibility, self-respect and purity. He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed; and finally got up from his chair. “Take me to him”, he said.
A day later, after handing over responsibilities to his brother, Father and Mother Felling left on a chugging train to London, with Keenan, the taker and maker of their son’s life. It is taking a while for the parents to warm up to Keenan; it was never going to be an easy process, he knew. Evening came, and so did London. An hour later, three familiar shadows walk into Joel’s bar. It was a sullen day for him, less customers because of being a Sunday. Who goes to drink, when the family waits for Sundays?
Staring in disbelief, he sat at the bar; trying to gauge whether it’s a dream or his parents have really come to see him, to accept him, to love him. It was a sight for sore eyes, to watch the embrace, the tears, of love, of joy, of redemption. This is a family, that comes together, even when times are tough, even when our mind says no, our heart still says yes.
It was time to look at Keenan with love again. With respect, with affection, with gratitude. He brought his togetherness back.
“They finally came around.”
Written By Anisha Masand
Part 4 of the story on 6th Nov ’20
Week 44, Oct ’20
