I would like to start by sharing a story. Lord Krishna & his brother Balram were walking through a dense forest. Full of fierce animals and demons, it was frightening. Suddenly a demon appeared before them. Balram was petrified and full of fear asked — “Who are you?”. He answered “I am a demon the size of your fear.” This scared Balram even more and the demon grew bigger. The more scared Balram got the bigger the demon grew. The demon kept growing and at one point Balram fainted. He then turned to Krishna and said the same thing — “I am a demon the size of your fear”. Krishna could not care less, ignored him and started playing his flute. The demon started getting smaller and smaller, until he disappeared. When Balram got up, he realised his mistake.
Humanity is facing some severe challenges today and going through some truly scary times. It is only our attitude that will help us beat the fears and allow us to move ahead.
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln
It is all in the attitude. Am sharing below nine tips that will build you a winning attitude.
Be Positive:
Whatever the situation — be positive. Very hard for most of us. We are naturally attracted to the negative. Make it a point to ignore the negative. Staying positive will keep you ahead in the game at all times. There is always an opportunity with every curve ball that life throws at you. You cannot let it knock you out.
Spend time with people who uplift you and ignore the ones who bring you down. Disregard the naysayers as long as you have the conviction. Listen to advise very carefully, then evaluate for yourself and once you have considered all the variables take the decision and be positive. There is no guarantee that every decision will pan out the way you planned it. But we must take action with a positive mindset. Keep in mind the words of Kierkegaard — “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
Life is to be lived every day, not by dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Both of which, we have little or no control over. Most negative thoughts come by living in our pasts. If we can snap out of these mental conversations and stay positive, then we live more fully in the present and take the best possible decisions for the upcoming future.
Look ahead:
When I was young I was always told that experience builds us. Experience teaches us. Sure it does. But there is no guarantee that how a situation worked itself out will repeat the same way in some other time in a similar situation. Analyse the past, review the failures, document the learnings, but please please don’t cry over it. Disconnect & move on. Post-mortems are good but not definitive.
The past has no bearing really on what happens in the future. Internalise all the learnings, but at every point, when in a situation, just look ahead — What can I do from here for the way ahead? Focusing on this will cut out all the clutter and help you identify the best way forward, based on the inputs available to you. Often you will have to take decisions with limited knowledge. At such points go with your instinct. Instinct is very powerful.
Focus:
When faced with decision point give yourself time to think, cut out all the noise, evaluate all the data available and only then take the decision. Teach yourself to focus. Even if it is a decision that needs to be taken urgently, take a few minutes to evaluate.
Think of it as a game of cricket or baseball. You have to declutter your mind, to be able to play your best possible natural game.
Find time to relax:
Make time to rest and relax. Most importantly give yourself the permission to relax. Even if there are pressing challenges make the time for yourself to relax. Listen to music, dance or do whatever makes you happy.
In uncertain times there are many distracting mental triggers. We cannot allow them to sway us, if we do then, life will toss us around like a piece of paper caught in the gushing winds. So relaxation is most important. It will allow us to act and not react.
We must make time for ourselves to unwind. Make a conscious decision not to give precious hours to activities and people that are not important to us. We must consciously not surrender to whatever stimulus that hits, even if it is loud, urgent or bright.
Stay committed to the process:
Only the process is under your control. Goals are important, but no one can say with surety that a goal will be achieved. But the actions towards the goals are under your control. Stay committed to the actions, the goals will fall into place. Let me give you an example to illustrate. If your goal is to lose ten kilos of weight. Then the process to get there, is a combination of diet and exercise. These actionable processes you can execute and work on. The goal will happen in due course.
Don’t worry about your competition, just stay focused on executing what you have to do, and do it as best you can. Both you and your colleague set out to lose ten kilos of weight. Both have the same actionable plan. Now don’t keep looking over your shoulder to see what your colleague is doing. Keep your focus on what you have to do. This is something my sports teacher taught me several years ago in school. Whenever we went on the field to run a race, he said run as fast as you can and keep your eyes on the finish line. Do not, I repeat do not, look over your shoulders at the other runners. It will only slow you down.
Your determination and perseverance to execute the process will pay off. Always.
Be a team player:
In business and in life, just like in a game of football, it is only the team that can win. It is almost impossible to win alone. Nurture your team members. Work with them and action the processes. Remember to pass the ball to the appropriate team member as required.
The world needs love and brotherhood to be able succeed at every step and in every aspect of our lives.
Gratitude:
Be in gratitude for all the good happening around you. Always look at the glass as half full and not as half empty. Gratitude keeps us grounded. Hear, say and listen to good things as much as you can. And express your gratitude freely. It can motivate all around you.
Make time for reflection:
Spend time at the end of each day to reflect on the day gone by. Write down or mentally make a note of all events of the day that inspired you. This review will help you internalise the days learnings and joys.
As often as you can, spend time with nature. Nature teaches us a lot. It functions in harmony at all times. That in itself is a major learning to imbibe. Adopt nature’s pace, even if for a short while, as it will teach you a lot.
Plan time for meditation. By meditation I mean, any form of me-time that you enjoy. The positive energy you generate shall give you strength and build your immunity.
Please remember that your attitude will conquer your fears and get you the wins you so rightly deserve.
“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert
Love Yourself
And above all appreciate and love yourself. That is most most important.
“Hey You…… You, you stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else. Or wishing people liked you as much as they liked someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks… love them, without those things you wouldn’t be you. And why would you want to be someone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile, it draws people in. If anyone hates you because you are happy with yourself then you stick your middle finger in the air and say screw it. My happiness will not depend on others anymore. I’m happy because I love who I am, I love my flaws, I love my imperfections, they make me me, and ‘me’ is pretty amazing.”
– Anonymous
Our attitude and our commitment shall handhold us through our toughest challenges.
Written By Mohit Gupta
Week 15, April ’20
