“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.”
The world we live in is a cruel place; and it is true that a little love can help a person go a long way. But how often do we receive love… not the one that seems and feels redundant and specious, but love that really matters? We rarely do. This is mainly because love that can truly enrich us is hard to find. It has to be either someone we are really close to or ourselves! After all, we can only be loved by the person who knows us best. Try to think about all the people who have a place in your life. Who knows you best to love you just the way you need it? Wait! Let me answer this for you…. The answer is you, yourself!
I had to face the harsh realities of life myself. I was in my mid-twenties when my personal, professional and social life were in great jeopardy. Things almost seemed to be at the breaking point. To make matters worse, I could not find anyone dependable to comfort me and be my support. I guess every person on the planet has to face such situations once in their lifetime. It turns out to be one of the toughest moments of life when all your known sources of support vanish in thin air.
You cannot really wait for somebody to turn up at those moments. If you do, then chances are that you might end up waiting all your life! So how can you really deal with the situation? What I did was rather simple. I simply started telling myself, “You can do this!”
Most importantly, you must learn to be brave. I accept the fact that I was not as brave as I had to be in the beginning, but there is a time for everything. Learning to love myself was the bravest thing I ever did. To start with I did not even know how I could do something like that. It took me time to realize what Brene Brown said: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”
I learnt that I have the right to hug myself, to tell myself that I was doing well. I learnt that I needed to give myself some time before I could really start dealing with challenging situations. I learnt to not be too harsh on myself for things I could not complete, for the times I quit…. It slowly started making sense to me… I owed no one any apology for being the way that I had been and the way I was. It was the first and foremost lesson I had learnt in the process of knowing to love the self. I understood, in full depth, the meaning of a few words I had read somewhere long back: “Be proud of who you are, and not ashamed of how someone else sees you.”
In those days when I had to fight off that crippling depression, it was my love that kept me alive. It was self-love that helped me garner all the strength I had to fight each day or just survive. The pain of being left all alone in a lonely world by the first person I had fallen in love with left me feeling empty from within. There were moments when I thought that I could not make it any further. It took me some time to realize that a simple breakup did not symbolize the end of my life. I started thinking about all the times I had spent before we had met. Was I not happy back then? Was I not alive all those years back? Sure, I was. And thus, began my long journey of self-discovery.
To love yourself also means to discover yourself all over again. For many, it might seem to be their first effort at self-discovery, but any exploration of such kind is immensely important for the person who is determined to live a good life. Explore yourself and keep loving the rewards of your exploration.
You are unique and you are special. There is only that one you. No doppelgangers. And at the end it is so simple, just Love Yourself.
Written by Shanice Mansukhani
As a sports enthusiast and former athlete, my journey through life has been full of learning and experiencing to make me the cheerful, free-spirited and energetic individual I am today. With a zest for stimulating conversations and deep thoughts, my world is one where I and those close to me bring joy in everything that life has to offer. Also, I enjoy everything Roger Federer, so if you’re a tennis glut like me, you know we have to talk soon!
Week 7, February 2021
