The trash of modern life. Piling up, day after day, overtaking life minute by minute. Stress is the new normal of our lives, overtaking COVID in the process. Got money, got stress. No money, even more stress. Happy, stressed about when it will end. Upset, stressed about the stress it causes. Stress is all around us. Like we breathe air, we exhale stress.
For the longest time, I had an unimaginable amount of stress in my life. To the point where an EEG spiked and I needed a break. This doesn’t leave our lives. Stress is a sign that yes, we are working hard, we are trying our best. Sometimes, our health cannot take the amount of trying, that’s all. The cure to this is not ending our work, it is not a divorce, and it certainly isn’t evaded by ‘moving out’. It has to be handled, it has to be managed, it has to be allocated.
Duress can be physical, emotional and psychological. Have you ever had a long day and not been able to go to bed, despite how tired you are? That means your brain is still in overdrive. Processing, digesting and cataloging every minute of your day. Pressure and anxiety are our morning pills, disdain and irritation are our afternoon vitamins and regret is our dessert. Do you see what is wrong in this? It is all negative!
Ten years ago, they said stress is best handled with family time, with your significant other. Frustrated? Go make children. The pleasure will make you shut out the pain of the day.
Frustrated today? Go take a walk in the park. Nature is all healing, all giving, never taking. This thought process has evolved to the point of evade stress by spending time with another human being (usually the root cause of the stress itself), to evade stress by becoming one with nature (the actual reliever). Therapists, today, are worshipped far more than our actual gods (on that thought, does God know you’re stressed?).
Therapy is the number one preventor of suicides, curer of depression and the gateway to a possibly lighter life. And for good reason. Sometimes, it is not our own we need to talk to, it is a neutral outsider. No judgements, no opinions. Just your friendly neighborhood punching bag! I went to three, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out what makes me tick – in all the 10 years that I have spent with stress. But I made some changes along the way. My addictions drove me to lengths of social distancing before it was coined in 2020. I realized who sticks around and who doesn’t. This got me to filter through my emotional stress by realizing how friendships break as easily as they make. The constant is me, my mind, and my thoughts.
Once I had my life back on track, I realized making friends also entails going out for dinners. The strain once again, was caused by constant driving, yawny conversations and late nights. A decade ago, 4 hours of sleep in the night got me standing fresh the next morning regardless. As we grow older, we realize our bodies need rest. And at some point, better late than never, we have to give in. So, I decided to limit my nights out, and decided to stay in, watch movies, read books, get the occasional post dinner stroll downstairs. Much better now!
That leaves me with the mental stress I live with. You live with. We all live with. I handle it by doing what I do best. I write. I pour my day into my diaries, and then I go on to watch something fun with my family or my best friend. This works for me. They are my safe space, the loves of my life and my support system. Whether I want to sit by them quietly on a regular day, or break down in their arms on a hard day. You just have to find what works for you. It takes day, sometimes months and on the off chance, even a year. Everyone needs a support system. You just have to find yours.
Every day I honor my mother in my prayers. The woman sitting out in the living room. Waiting to feed us breakfast, plan our lunches, watch our health and take care of our needs. How does she handle stress? I once observed her daily routine. It involved waking up in the morning, having tea, sitting by the window and talking to all her little green plants – there are too many of them, honestly. Her silent, always listening children. Not the biological hasslers.
After lunch, she takes an hour in her room, resting, looking out the window. The occasional chipmunk on the coconut trees, or a mother and daughter from the other house bickering. She just listens, doesn’t speak, doesn’t sleep.
Her evenings are spent with us, talking, laughing, chirping. Cooking together most evenings and spending the later part watching a show, having a drink or two. The best part of her day? When she talks to her green children, and when she laughs with her biological children. These are her safe spaces. She found them after two decades of stressing over family matters, financial matters and trivial but essential matters. The sustenance providers.
Sometimes, we just need someone to remind us that we don’t have to be superhuman to live right. We just need to laugh a little, cry a little, hug a little and eat well. Stress tends to take care of itself once you do these things!
Many people take to art to express themselves, to free themselves of the day’s torment, their ‘me’ time. Long ago, I watched The Princess Diaries. I am a 90s kid; I’ve seen them all. Anne Hathaway’s mother is legendarily fun. To deal with a bad day, she fills up her garage wall with a large canvas holding paint-filled balloons. Imagine what comes next? Darts!
Imagine shooting darts at balloons; it’s like those fairs where we shoot balloons with air guns. This one doesn’t just burst. It paints a canvas in unexpected ways. Try it one day. Clean up the mess before the head of the home decides to whup you though!
Everyone has a way. A workout, a drink at a bar, a night with friends, a quiet day of snoozing, an evening swim or any form of expression. Stress can be handled, it can be fixed, removed. Your life is in your hands, take help when you need and take charge because you have to!
At the end of the day, we come out to play in different ways: nature, socializing, communicating, expressing. Because of how it makes us feel. Find what makes you feel good, and let it consume you. It is the only way!
Written By Anisha Masand
Week 42, Oct ‘20
