I am 27 years old. I’m sure my parents learned a lot more than I did at my age. Hell, they had me! But does that question how much I have learned and grown in 27 years? No.
Why? Because, all the fingers of your hand aren’t the same. Every person has a different story, a different path, and a unique way of looking at life. Growth looks different on each person. Exactly a year ago, I was not the same.
I’m a double graduate with degrees in business and law, a lover of animals and everything simple, and love cooking. I ended up in the travel industry for a while and now write articles and strategize on content for a living. Do you see the extremities in what i learned and what i do? I earn one-third of my classmates, but I am happy. Why? I have parents that have supported me throughout my journey so far, a strong friend circle of only 3, and a penchant for writing all that my soul puts forth, not a care of whether someone likes it or not.
Last year, I was concerned that I am not successful enough, not earning enough, not travelling enough, not doing anything that is enough. One of our nights out on the town, I got into a conversation with a friend about tattoos. I told him that I wanted the laurel wreath, but only when I have achieved something. He takes my glass and sets it down and says “Anisha, what is an achievement according to you? Why do you think you haven’t achieved anything?” This got me thinking. I have achieved a lot, to be honest. Good friends, the best family in the world (everyone thinks theirs is, so I do too), a steady career when so many lost theirs during the pandemic, a place and people to call home. Why do I think I don’t have any achievements?
Personal growth is anything from waking up in the morning and giving thanks, to making it to work on a down day, to picking up the phone for an interview when your entire body is terrified. Overcoming is growth.
When the pandemic hit, there was terror in people’s minds. How will we sustain? Many lost their jobs; many lost the chance to meet their loved ones, thanks to airports shutting down. Many were locked in, with nothing much to do; we don’t prep activities when we know we are out and about. Many were forced to deal with their mental health in ways they never knew.
COVID took patients, but also caused suicides, panic and uncertainty in minds. It caused most of us to sit at home, think and read. We heard about racial disparity through our news, the fact that there is a pandemic ongoing, but white supremacy still stands tall. There is strong need for a revolution, one that causes humanity to reach its roots and grab the little sanity and compassion that is left. To make Earth a better place to live.
Self-development is a tough exercise, one that will give you a better life permanently, but hard to achieve. A belief in yourself, which those around you do not necessarily have. To realize that something’s are far more important, than what is perceived to be important. A milestone in life can be two things: when you reach a certain pay grade and buy a house, and when you overcome every mental difficulty that causes you not to reach the first one.
What you become is far more important, than what you get. It sets the tone for every relationship you will have, every friendship you will enjoy and every future you will dream of. For example, what matters is how your children see life, how they perceive happiness and how they share their happiness. It doesn’t matter much what school they go to, what car they drive and certainly not how much they earn.
Think of it like this, what you become directly influences what you get. For example, there are two kinds of beggars (forgive the obviousness of the concept). One comes to you begging for money and when you give what your wallet allows, they throw it back asking for more. The second kind comes to you asking for food. When you give them even a bag of biscuits, they bless you and you are on your way.
Which one appeals to you more?
Opportunities are aplenty. But how you approach them, is what is important. The mindset that you maintain in order to achieve a goal, matters more than how you go about it. When Rhonda Byrne wrote ‘The Secret’, she only aimed at wanting you to believe in yourself, to believe in what you want. She doesn’t tell you how to do it, she only asks that you believe.
Growth is a push. There is struggle, there are challenges. There are potholes, and then at the end of the bridge, is the biggest pot of gold. Happiness, belief in yourself; a newfound confidence that will never waver, if you don’t let it.
Essentially, there are three aspects to personal growth; spiritual, physical and mental. A spiritual connect is essential. Make sure not to confuse spiritual with religious. To be able to believe in yourself, you must first believe in something, anything. It helps to follow a journey of meditation, of spiritual reading, positive-thinking and some core-developing exercises (I emphasize on tai-chi, because I have seen my little sister flourish with the practice).
Once you have spiritual stability, this needs to be coupled with a physical confidence. Work on yourself, on your health. Go for walks, look out of the windows, search for the green and the bright. Take notice of people around you, study them. You will realize the kind of environment you like to be in. Set a routine for yourself, for better eating, better exercising, and better living. Mindfulness is key here. To tie in physical and spiritual, you need to be mindful of everything you do. Each activity must be enjoyed at a good pace, with firm concentration. No distractions. Condition yourself to focus on the task at hand.
Third, last and most importantly, work on your mental health. I know this is hard, and beyond possible in a short span. But if you start now, you will see how far it takes you. Exercise your mind to understand how life is better lived. What triggers you, what makes you happy? Find a balance. If you don’t like something, but you are bound to face it every day, condition yourself to deal with it positively. Build a support system, reach out to your friends and family, make them aware that you are trying to work on your personal development. Take help, it is never a bad thing!
Reflection is an important stepping stone to getting value from all that you know and all that you do. It is the art of going back over: of reviewing your thoughts, your actions and their consequences. How something you do affects another, and what they do that affects you. Learn to practice this. This helps you recognize and add value to your life, to invest better in the future.
At the end of the day, all you have is yourself, and those around you. Make the best of them, because life stops for no one. It is a long road, make some friends, and build connections to last a lifetime. Growth is how well you can teach another about perception. Start now, because the pandemic shows us that time is always of essence!
As Robert Rosen always said, ‘Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future’.
Written By Anisha Masand
Week 41, October ’20
