My thoughts on Kindness and why we need it in our daily lives.
Kindness is not about charity. In many ways, kindness is about being mindful of what is happening around you and then taking action in a kind way. Let’s say that you are walking across the concourse of a busy train station, lost in your thoughts, planning your day and in a far corner there is a man sobbing. You see that from the corner of your eye. Now the choice is to walk across and comfort him, even though it may be awkward as hell, or simply ignore him and walk by as your day’s plan is more important. Normally I would have been so awkward about it that even wanting to empathise I would have chosen to walk by. But now I would summon up the courage and go across and at least attempt to talk. The courage to take a kind action over indifference.
Not only do we need a big heart but also the courage to engage with strangers especially in these troubled times.
In everyday life we just need to be intentional about showing kindness. Then the simple gestures come easily. Hold the door. Allow someone in a hurry to go ahead. Pick up some trash. Help someone cross. Share a hug. Wipe a tear. Carry someone’s heavy shopping to their car. Give some love to a tree. Just go the extra mile for all those around you in simple everyday tasks.
A big one for me would be to recognise human endeavor. We are all so fragile now. There is so much stress. Even the seemingly successful people are grappling with complex issues. A word of encouragement would surely help. You may have heard of Hannah Brencher, who founded the More Love Letters movement in 2011 at the age of 22 as an intuitive response to her own post college depression. Words of encouragement shared through her platform would make a great impact on those that receive them.
Then there is the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation founded in 1995 that is providing a platform for completely random acts of kindness with no financial motive. They simply want to make kindness the norm and believe that kindness can be taught. Towards that end they provide a set of free resources.
From time immemorial the wise in our society have taught us to be kind to all around us. Perhaps in our super-fast paced modern times we need a concerted effort to teach kindness, right from when we are little. Then as we grow kindness can be a norm rather than an exception.
Benevolence as an aspect of kindness at times can be harmful. I must remind you of the story of the butterfly. Any attempt to make the exit from the cocoon easier would perhaps make the butterfly weak and not allow it to fly. Simply doling out money as an act of kindness is not necessarily a good solution at all times. It is better to teach a skill than to dole out money. That is a true act of kindness.
“Kindness is igniting a light in someone else for no reason other than to watch them enjoy the glow.” — RAKtivist
Most importantly be kind to yourself as well. And watch yourself glow. Give yourself and your body all the attention it so rightly deserves. Since some days now, every morning, I sit with myself in one corner of my home, looking out of the window into the trees and allowing the light breeze to run off against my skin. This is the time to feel the internal chatter and to have some conversations with myself. Today I got the realisation to be kind to myself as much as I want to be kind to others. I have always been my toughest critic. It is time to stop that for sure. I must help myself as much as I want to help others.
Whenever someone approaches me for help, I have one question that comes to my mind — “Whose need is greater? The other persons or mine? This is my litmus test. And it helps me decide whether I will help or not.
More importantly kindness is not always about financial aid, for many it is simply to connect. For the lonely some kind words would simply brighten up their days. I find that if the younger people reach out to the elders in the family and in the community that would make such a huge difference in their lives. That too in my mind is kindness. More about being considerate.
In this dog eat dog world if we can give primary importance to the people and to the nature around us, it will make the world a better place.
“Our days are happier when we give people a piece of our heart rather than a piece of our mind.” — Unknown.
Written By Mohit Gupta
Week 43, October ‘20
