“A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” — Irish proverb
Sleep, the panacea for all our troubles. If you are anxious just try and relax and let sleep do the rest. If there is a problem that you cannot solve, review it before sleeping for the day and very often next morning the solution will be obvious. Worked for me many times. Crabby and weary, take a few minutes for a power nap. Cannot concentrate, get some shut eye. It is an invaluable tool to let the body and mind rest and repair. In today’s world most of us know that and yet sleep is something we take so much for granted. Like our breath. Or the full moon every four weeks. Or our Freedom. Well, Freedom not quite these days of Lockdowns.
Trouble starts when we just cannot get sleep or just cannot fit in enough time for our sleep. Or when we make the choice of neglecting our sleep. For me in particular sleep was always elusive. I have never felt that I have slept well. I do not know or comprehend what sleeping well can feel like. Never have I woken up charged and rearing to go.
My disconnect with sleep goes back to a conversation I had when I was in school. It was with a very revered cousin. Someone I considered very worldly wise. He went on to explain that if we slept for eight hours a day, then we would end up sleeping for a third of our lives. And that would be a complete waste. Life was to be lived and not slept through. That made sense to me at the time. Remember I was very young and impressionable. So, I unlearned to sleep. For over three decades after that I survived on anything between four and six hours of sleep. You can imagine the horrors of that. The damage that has caused.
As luck would have it, at the age of twenty-three I also developed a lower back problem. The genesis of that also was perhaps the same conversation. My cousin had also suggested that I should sleep on a hard bed. This he said, would straighten out my back and give me a little extra height. Being rather short this too rung home. But I ended up with a stiff low back. The worst of it was that my spine lost its natural arch. The other impact was my inability to sleep beyond six hours as my back would get uncomfortable with stiffness.
In any case, I am a very morning person and so I enjoy being up early. I love to see the sun rise. The early morning sunlight soothes me and refreshes me. Even on holiday I like to be up early to experience the morning where I am. Tea and coffee as a morning drink was never really a part of my life. My morning elixir is warm water with cinnamon, ginger, turmeric with some local honey and one whole lemon juice. This followed by fruit completes my morning routine. I adore mornings. It also gives me some me-time as all my family is blessed with good sleep. And I am not being sarcastic, they are truly blessed. I never discovered the joys of good sleep. Sleep for me became a neglected and guilty pleasure. When I see my wife and children sleep, I envy them and bless them. It is that happy envy. I am not jealous. I only ever wake them up if it is necessary. I feel joy in letting them sleep. Their angelic smiles whilst asleep are a special thrill for me. The only thought that crosses my mind is that they are experiencing some very happy dreams. Sleep must be savoured and not resisted. Why eight hours, sleep as much as you can. There is no such thing as too much sleep in my books.
Unfortunately, my body clock also developed the habit that even if I slept at four in the morning, I would be up between seven and eight. All this was great, till I realized the toll it was taking on me physically and emotionally. In the last few years sleep has become a big focus of my life. My homeopaths and my healers have been working on getting me to sleep better. As a result, I am now able to sleep longer, but I find that my sleep is still not that restful. My back too has been behaving better. The stiffness has reduced substantially. That hurdle being lower helps me sleep better.
Eating light in the evenings is another thing that works for me. Also eating early helps a lot. Ideally, I am happiest if I can have dinner before 7 pm. In India that is not how it works. Almost everyone eats late. My father all his life has refused to eat before 9.30 pm. Being very committed to his schedule it always has to be 9.30 pm, not a minute earlier and not a minute later.
In my head there is also a raging debate between spontaneity and routine. I hate routine. This means that no two days are alike. The challenge is that good health requires routine and good sleep. That was another thing that impacted my sleep. In my twenties and thirties very often, we changed out of our pajamas post-midnight and ran out to get pizza. This too after having had a satiating dinner. Ridiculous in hindsight. Impetuous youth. Sleep was never a priority.
In my fifties now, I feel the full impact of not sleeping well. I feel sleepy at odd hours in the day. The worst and the riskiest is on long drives. Now I consciously pull over for a power nap when that sleep attack hits. That five minutes of restful sleep makes all the difference to my driving ability.
Then there is the effect of coffee on my sleep. On this the jury is still out. There was a time 4 pm was my cut off for the espresso shot. Any espresso after that would ruin my sleep that night. Then I moved on to pour overs and V60s. Not only was I enjoying my coffee more and it was having little or no impact on my sleep.
There are times a night cap of single malt will help me sleep better and at times it has no impact. Swings and roundabouts, that is what life is.
Then there are the nights that I cannot sleep at all. The brain is on overdrive and there is nothing that seems to calm me. I resort to reading or turn to Netflix. Distractions can be calming for me. Or I write down the thoughts that are swirling around in my head. That works like a charm too.
Sleeping in the open, on the beach or under a tree, has its own feral joy. Even if it is for a short while. I do that more comfortably now, as I worry less about the creepy crawlies in the open.
An afternoon nap in the open has an indulgent charm of its own, especially if you can steal yourself away on a workday.
My best sleep is when I get that perfect hug in bed from my wife. This is my true heaven and I am lulled into this most comfortable sleep surrounded by this halo of love. All worries are happily forgotten.
We are all so physiologically different and need to discover what works for each of us. But please accept and internalise that sleep is very necessary and restorative.
You will have your own challenges with sleep. I would love to hear about those.
Written by Mohit Gupta
Week 43, October ‘20
