You know the feeling when you feel that you are drowning, I have been feeling that for a while now. The waters rising. Reaching near the nostrils. The sputtering. The choking feeling. The struggle to breathe. Gasping. Clinging to hope for dear life. So many challenges. And the ongoing struggle for solutions.
That is what I have been dealing with these last few months. Then along came an angel and lifted me from that deepest point. The waters were now chest height. The breathing became more comfortable. That choking feeling was rested. I was comfortably again able to take deep rejuvenating breaths. One of my major challenges was reduced to a handleable situation.
All that was clouding my vision, my judgement, started to ease up. My journey ahead became clearer. These are the moments I am most grateful for. I felt that true relief. The muscles relaxed. The crown now not so deep.
I am deeply indebted to this angel. And to the universal energy that allowed this to happen. And my orbit suddenly changed.
Now I must gingerly pick up the shattered pieces around me. And start to piece my life back together again.
I am more positive now than I have been for a long long time. Life does not look so grim.
The underlying need to address the direction of the rest of my journey on this planet can now get more attention. I keep thinking that I have at best a decade and a half left of good years ahead of me. What can I do to make the most of that? That question is so hard to answer. The last five odd decades have gone by in a supersonic blur. What is it that I want for the time that is left?
Photo by Mohit GuptaThe first thing that comes to mind is that I want to do things that will truly make a difference. Difference to the planet. To all the people who are in my life. To all the people who will come in my life. I sincerely want to give a lot of love and attention to this planet that is home for us for a while. And we must all accept that. Acknowledge the fact that it is all only for a while. And that life is not infinite. And we must all take our decisions and our actions based on that.
Then there is the ongoing internal debate about line of action for myself. What do I want to do for myself? One thing is for sure. I want to work on my physical and my mental health. I must shed the excess weight. I must spend more time with myself. And that must be without distractions. No phone. No TV. Music perhaps. I must learn to listen better. To others and to myself. I must slow down. I want to feel every breath. I must eat slower. I want to taste every morsel I eat.
I am writing these thoughts whilst staying at this very remote property in the Himalayan mountains so aptly called For A While. The owners Dam-dada and Shalini explained their thought process behind naming this place. Everything happens only for a while. We visit places for a while. We are with the people we love only for a while. And most importantly we spend time on this planet only for a while. Hence the name. So the question how do we make the “while” we have special and meaningful.
So I want to make the “while” I have left truly worthwhile. For myself I want to spend stretches of time with increasing frequency in different locations in the Indian mountains and on the Indian beaches. All this whilst I continue my effort at making the world as better a place as I can.
Have you met your angel as yet? Do lookout. You never know who it will be. Recognize them. Acknowledge them. And we must express your love and gratitude for their generosity.
Written By Mohit Gupta
Week 11, March 2021
PS – do share stories about the angels who have been there in your life.
