Finding happiness is a bit like finding nemo. Very swift and agile. Pretty hard to grasp and hold down. The trick probably is to let nemo find you. Stay still and nemo will want to connect and settle in your lap. Happiness is purely inwards. What we have or what we want can govern our happiness only if we allow it to.
Modern day advertising and marketing is bombarding our senses from all directions. Making us feel inadequate and unhappy simply because we don’t possess something. This is something that is hard to get away from, for the best of us. The only way to tackle this is to take your eyes off the communication, sit back, and choose happiness. Don’t chase it.
Taking a very macro view I think society has to change its world view. Focus has to shift from material possessions to human comfort. Accountability for all those in a decision-making position has to be measured in happiness and well-being, for all the people that they are responsible for. This would squarely apply to all civic governing bodies.
I was happy to discover very recently that in 2011 the UN General Assembly recognized happiness as a fundamental human goal. The idea was to push for a more inclusive, equitable and balanced approach to economic growth keeping in mind at all times happiness and well-being for all. To that end, in 2012, 20th March was declared as the International Day of Happiness.
There is also a World Happiness Report that ranks countries on six variables that support well-being — income, freedom, trust, healthy life expectancy, social support and generosity. I am not sure if income is a good variable to consider, as that skews this ranking towards the richer nations.
The motivation for all this came from the Gross National Happiness (GNH) Index that was coined by the 4thKing of Bhutan, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck in 1972. He declared that GNH is more important than GDP. The intention was that all development should be holistic and must give equal importance to the non-economic aspects of wellbeing. They consider nine domains to get their measure the GNH.
1. Psychological wellbeing
2. Health
3. Education
4. Time use
5. Cultural diversity and resilience
6. Good governance
7. Community vitality
8. Ecological diversity and resilience
9. Living standards
We had the privilege of spending two weeks in Bhutan about two years ago. It was a self-driving trip. We covered a lot of ground and were able to engage with many locals. The people lived well and were genuinely happy. Wherever we went, we experienced their generosity. The country is very clean and is carbon positive. I experienced many a zen moments there.
If all the worlds governing bodies created focus like this, complete and widespread peace would descend on humanity. The need for weapons would reduce. Sounds very idealistic. But only if we dare to imagine, we can all manifest this kind of a world. A generous world. A happy world.
This is all, of course, at a very macro level and involves gigantic shifts at so so many levels. Perhaps the current pandemic may drive us all in this direction, and achieve the shift that mankind so desperately needs.
Coming back to the individual level. What makes us happy whilst still buffeted by the pressures of modern living? Bring the focus on the little things that give you joy.
On a cold day, stand still in the sun, close your eyes and feel that gentle soothing warmth. Sit in the garden and let the gentle breeze tingle your senses and sooth your soul. Listen to your favourite music whilst you cook. Eat the toast with butter and satisfy your soul. Enjoy the pizza. Find that perfect cup of coffee and savour it ever so slowly. Wear that pair of clothes that you feel you look the best in. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Love unconditionally. Love is natural, hate is learnt. Learn as much as you want to. Travel, if that is your manna. Sit with nature. Talk to it. Hug it. Nature is healing and loving. Forgive easily. Express gratitude. Appreciate what you have. Appreciate the people you love.
Smile a lot. Make happiness a part of your journey. It is not a destination. Stop listening to others telling you what will make you happy. Only you must decide what makes you happy. Contentment and joy must at all times be under your control. You might have noticed that I don’t talk about money at all. I choose not to comment on the role money may or may not play to bring you happiness. Best that, you make that choice for yourself.
Be generous. Most of all with your time. There is a definite link between generosity and happiness. Reaching out to others without any expectation is a most rewarding feeling. Like Phoebe said in one episode of Friends, there’s no such thing as a selfless good deed. Helping others gives us a dopamine hit. It is key to our happiness. Doing something for others gives us that warm glow. That very comforting happy feeling.
Finding a sense of purpose is a major source of happiness. Over the years this is one thing that I have struggled with. And for me it is a great source of unhappiness. I would urge you to take some quiet time, whatever stage of life you are in, and tune in to that life purpose. Once you can get a laser sharp focus on that, you will love staying on that path. You will be able to get up every day and be happy with what you want to do. This will give you true happiness. Unfortunately, it is not as simple as that in real life. Many of us, like me, struggle to find their life purpose and that weighs us down constantly. I often feel that I am going through the motions of life. Living day to day, doing what is expected of me, and not what I want to do. Simply because I don’t know what I want to do. But I continue to look for joy in the little things.
You will have to define your path yourself. Don’t get swept away by the winds of life. Ride the winds you want to. Make the life you want to. Live a life full of happiness. Allow nemo to come to you.
Written By Mohit Gupta
Week 16, April ’20
