A celebration of light and dark in 2020
Oh baby, it’s Christmas………annnnnnnd New Year’s Eve, Hanukkah, the Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, Loy Krathong, Las Posadas, Mawlid al-Nabi and probably more that I’m missing. Here in the U.S. we are in the midst of arguably the biggest, monthish long, a celebration of the year and whether or not one finds this time of year denominationally relevant it’s hard not to get swept up in the holiday festivities (for better or for worse). Traditionally speaking, there are the usual string of expected feelings and sentiments thrown around regarding this time of year. Wildly swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other, the holiday season is labeled anything from “the most magical, wonderful time of the year, encouraging us to be the best versions of ourselves” to “a disgusting display of gluttonous consumerism, perfectionism and overindulgence in every sense of the word”.
Whew, that’s quite the soup of polarizing sentiment. And that’s on a “normal” year.
This holiday season, mingled with the chaos of 2020 is well, what’s the right word, hmmmmm, well, it’s just nucking futs. But if this maelstrom of a year has taught me anything, it’s to stop, look around, gather up the facts and the feels and organize them into something that not only has meaning and makes sense, but that holds hope, action and gratitude. I have watched others in their darkest hours this year do this very thing, repeatedly. It has quite literally brought me to my knees in tears, marveling at the human capacity to suffer and celebrate in tandem. To say that this year has humbled me would be a gross understatement. To also say that this year has somehow taught me how to be happier is a shining gift, better than anything I’ll find under the tree.
So this holiday season, I do find myself swimming in all the feels; excitement, anxiety, nostalgic comfort, gratitude, compassion, grief, fear, peace, shall I continue? I could go all night. It seems only natural to feel this way but it’s all for naught unless I find a way to use it for good, to find the happiness that potentially exists in every moment, season and year and the best guide to lead me in this direction has also been the cause for it’s need. The tough-love teacher we’ve all had in 2020 is of course, 2020 herself. It reminds me of my World Civ teacher Sophomore year. She scared the living hell out of me at first. Not a warm and fuzzy, soft place to fall kinda lady. But by the end of the year she’d become my favorite, still is, and I realized that I had grown into a better version of myself under her protective but rough wings. What would this teacher have me do in this season of emotionally confusing and physically demanding celebrations?
With an unspoken compassion and the commanding strength of someone who knows of what I’m capable (sometimes before I do) she would insist that I return to logic, find the central issue at hand (in the form of a question or a problem usually) and then solve it in a productive manner, which would usually require that I take responsibility for my own role in the thing and act upon that which it’s possible for me to act. So, I ask myself what that central issue at hand could actually be, once stripped of all those feels, and I’ve come up with this:
What does it mean to celebrate and be joyous, even in a tumultuous time?
What is the point of the holiday season? And for that matter, what has been the point of this year?
Well, it’s pretty simple, once all the distractions are swept away. To celebrate means to acknowledge; to honor, mark, recognize, commemorate and observe. There is much to honor this year. Lives lost and lives spared. Our capacity for darkness and light. That which we’ve held onto or nurtured in times of distress that has lead us away from that darkness and into our light, such as simple and honest expressions and acceptance of love, self discovery, personal integrity and considering the greater good rather than existing solely within our own experiences.
A close friend recently shared the following quote by Asad Syrkett, the Editor in Chief of Elle Decor: “Where do you go when you can’t go far? Quite simply, you go inward.”. We both agreed that these words held a lot of meaning this year. We’ve been forced, in many ways, to take inventory of ourselves, which seems to be a necessary building block for constructing a better world. Did 2020 send us all back to the beginning, to center, to our foundations? Which leads to the final question….
What is the point of this holiday season and the point of this year?
I feel that we have a tremendous opportunity in the coming weeks to truly celebrate, to truly honor, mark and acknowledge, what this year has meant to us individually and collectively and identify how we can use that meaning, by first diving inward, for good, for growth and for happiness. To first mark and acknowledge allows us to then act and move on. To move forward and build something better.
There are lots of cues this time of year to look upward and around us to and for our spiritual guides, whatever they may be. I believe they are all one in the same, speaking to us in voices and languages that we can process and accept, given our individual backgrounds and traits, but ultimately saying the same things; 
encouraging us to equally value, respect and care for ourselves, those around us and something bigger than us. 2020 has been downright biblical, what with its violence, lessons, tender mercies, metaphors and magic. Are we being given yet another opportunity to break and heal stronger? Do we celebrate so that we can bolster our reserves for the battles and beauty ahead, embracing the pain and the pleasure all at once?
When I raise my glass this year, I’ll be toasting it all. Because after all, upon closer examination, celebrating seems to hold space for the light and the dark. I’ll be giving humble thanks for the things that broke us and healed us, with a spark of excitement in my mind’s eye for the work, unknowns and pleasures of 2021. May we unearth the bricks from our past to lay the path our feet have yet to tread. Cheers!
Written by Britt Chudleigh
Britt is an artist and real estate professional living in Park City, Utah where she spends her time exploring alpine trails, helping people in and out of homes, creating & curating content for her lifestyle journal, Chudleigh Living, toasting with friends and family and soaking up cozy moments at home with her two children, husband, cat and two dogs.
Week 52, December ’20
