Life is a continuous journey. From the moment we are born our adventure begins. How adventurous and memorable it turns out to be is left up to us. Along this amazing rollercoaster, we create unimaginable bonds and tie parts of our souls to others— family, friends, lovers. We share love and happiness with these amazing people that we care about, but unfortunately at a certain point in time, we all have to say goodbye. We never know when is the last time that we speak, see or touch someone but that too makes one want to live, breathe and enjoy every moment as if there was no tomorrow.
Death is such a foreign yet familiar reality. We all know that someday we’re going to die, that the people we love are going to die too, yet it is so difficult to make peace with it. None of us knows what happens after we pass, all we can do is hope that we and the ones we care about move to a better place or are reborn to experience life’s wondrous journey once again.
Loss is inevitable, how we handle it though is entirely up to us. Death always casts a dark cloud, not over the people it meets but the people left behind. It envelopes us in darkness, leaving us broken and suffering. We end up throwing ourselves into mourning periods and get lost in the pain and heartache because there is nothing worse than living life without the people we love. This is where we lose sight of things. Is this really what your loved one would want for you? I think not.
A loved one’s death is usually associated with feelings of heartbreak, devastation, shock, and anger, especially when it is an untimely death that has no closure. The harsh reality that we will never see them again in the flesh, have a conversation, get that much-needed hug or the advice we crave makes one feel so cheated by life.
The yummy meal that they may have cooked for us, their signature perfume, the chance to get annoyed seeing their mess all over the floor, the chance to fight with them or say I’m sorry; there so much to miss.
Oddly enough, missing the person you have lost is so much better than shoving the pain away and shutting out memories of them. It is important for each of us to grieve properly and process the hundred different feelings that come with this kind of tragedy.
Basking in the happiness of all the beautiful memories that you have shared with them is the best way to deal with death. Whether it’s a parent, grandparent, child, friend, lover, teacher, your neighbour who you were close to or a colleague, celebrate the life they lived. Draw strength to move on by remembering how they have enriched your life and the lives of others around them. Let that never be forgotten. Be grateful that they lived, that you were lucky enough to be a part of their journey.
Sometimes our loved ones leave us with so many unresolved issues but that’s when you need to forget about the regrets. Instead of focusing on all the “could haves”, focus on all the “has been”.
If they were part of a charity or volunteered their time at an orphanage or old age home or fed stray dogs maybe you can carry out those deeds in their name. Not only will this bring you closer to them, but you would be carrying on their legacy.
If they loved the beach, go enjoy the sunset and say cheers to them. If you went cycling or walking together continue with it. Go on that vacation you had planned together. Don’t stop because you lost your company, your loved one would want those experiences for you, and it will make you feel closer to them.
Have that cake that your mother loved or go to the movies like you once did with your grandparent, listen to the songs they loved. Celebrate what they loved in life and what they did with you. That is a more powerful and happy way to remember the ones who have moved on than to sit around remorseful and sad.
Just because their time has come, and they had to go doesn’t mean that the life they have lived has to be forgotten. Let the memories make you smile and gladden your heart for having known these amazing human beings. Carry on their spirit by making them proud and being the best version of yourself. Enjoy every second with the people you love and make every moment count. In the end that is all that will matter. Make sure you remember that every day.
Written By Jessica Albuquerque.
A master of being a Jack of all Trades, A method in madness some may say. I’m just a girl on a never-ending journey, Standing on the precipice of my next big story.
Week 15, April 2021
