So many things make our world go around right? The sun, gravity, news, politics…things that seem essential to the spinning of our life on its axis. But the one thing that really rocks our life is friendship. The bond we have with people we care about, the people who make us smile and the same people who wipe our tears.
Friendship is that really what it means to me. A ship. With an anchor so strong, that even in the strongest of storms will hold you steady. So I’m thinking, this is the best thing I have in my life and its totally worth cherishing and nourishing. It’s my favorite plant that I water and care for. The more it grows, the deeper the roots get, the more I invite love and happiness.
Ok, so as we are growing up my friends were people I played with and went to school with. They were from all walks of life and we all had massive fun and lots of fights too! But 20 years later, these folks are still in my life..still having fun and playing..but now they are a part of my psyche..my being ..part of me. These are my friends, my buddies who are always on speed dial in my life. One shout and they are present. I always say, your oldest pals and probably your thickest too. Weirdly, one of the girls in my class who I absolutely did not love in school is now one of my besties. I mean P and me don’t walk 5 steps without talking to the other.
These are friendships that have grown as I have grown from a child to a teen to a young adult to a parent and now to 50. We may not meet as much or even be as energetic as before but we are still watering the same plant we shared years ago. Till today, all my school pals we go once a year on holiday together and it’s the most fun and nonsensical weekend ever.
Now take my kids. I got two really incredible ones. They were children I had to guide and now they are showing me the way by being just awesome friends and a support system without which I could not have survived. That perfect pair of jeans that always fits..them and me. Bet you feel the same! A few years ago when I was not well, my kids literally stuck to me- of course made endless fun of me, but okay- and every day I realized these two kids grew up to become the bestest friends a mother can ask for. This is a friendship that will last through all time.
As life goes on we meet new people. Some are here to stay while others have a shelf life. Yup, friendships can also have an expiry date, did you know? But that don’t mean they don’t have value. They bring something special, something meaningful into our lives and then they leave. I don’t feel badly towards friends who are no longer around. I thank them for whatever they gave to me- in whatever time frame it was – and possibly that it may even have changed me.
In my life, I certainly have had friends who couldn’t cope when my life changed. I lost 2 really close girlies within a week – no explanation yet – the balance shifted? the equation got altered? it was too different? I’m still the same person and so are they. But the rules of the game altered. Were these not real pals? Totally they were! Maybe one day we will find our mojo again and reunite but till then these dormant friendships shall remain just so.
Now some of my other friends..whole new level! We live in each other’s pockets..everything is shared..every hope, every tear, every fear. These are my stars that shine 24/7. So as I type I’m doing a quick survey with my buddies what friendship means to them. And I get responses like safe, loyalty, trust, caring, laughter, comfort, always there…pretty much all the attributes we give to God. The One who is has all the virtues. So I’m thinking, could friendship be Divine?
I’m going to share this experience with you because it is just so OTT. I lost a young family member a few years ago and the night before the funeral I was with her body alone in the room. The whole night. And the entire time I felt as if someone was in the room with me holding my hand. Imagination? Days later so many of my friends told me, Sonali we knew what was happening with you and we were praying for you. Now this is divinity at it best.
So often I get that feeling that really, God has sent person X to me at the time I needed someone. Someone to help me steer my ship safely to shore. You ever had that? An old friend, an old flame or an old acquaintance just shows up to hold your hand. It’s inexplicably wonderful no? Oh man, I have some of the most-and I mean most- unexpected friends showing up out of the blue and damn, they were just what the doctor ordered. Antibiotics and vaccine rolled into one! Lol! And they make it a point to let me know – I ain’t going anywhere.
This is what the “F” words means. Not having to walk alone.
In my ultra-mixed-up life I have found, kept, lost, some regained friends. Each one has now a permanent residency in my soul. And I will tell you this …boyfriends and partners, they are friends first. In my experience, you cannot ‘be’ with someone if they are not friend-worthy. Makes sense? With my partner, we first became friends and then as some wise dude said- the friendship caught fire!
So coming down to the basics, I don’t believe friendships die. They just kinda fade a bit and then may or may not get resurrected but they are now part of my DNA. And I tell you, my lovely, gorgeous, amazing friends are the reason why the birds sing, the sky is blue and why planet earth is just the best place to be in the galaxy.
Written by Sonali Mehta
Born and brought up in Bombay ( yes,we still call it that ☺) I went to become the ‘Liril’ girl (my claim to fame). I left India many years ago and have lived in different countries over the years. I teach Inter-cultural management and etiquette and have returned to modelling after a 25 year hiatus. I now live between Belgium and Dubai and am always looking for new things to learn and explore. I love sports, golf, reading and travelling. One of my fav passions is sharing my dreams and experiences with women like me -50 plus, to show that life has only just begun. Round 2.
Week 3, January 2021
